Trial and Error

I can’t help but to over-hear the phone conversation of my officemate and a user who reported a system problem. Before hanging-up, my officemate said to the user that life is a test it’s always a trial and error.

Is life really a test?

There were times when the decisions I made were not really the best. Sometimes the outcome is not what I am expecting to happen. But I never regret the wrong things I’ve done from the past…never. Instead I treat these mistakes a means to improve myself. These made me wiser, emotionally strong and even more faithful to God.

Is life a trial and error?

I married and had children in my early twenties. I admit that I was not prepared. Can I raise three children? Can I give them the things that should be meant for them? Can I be a good mother? Questions like these keep on lurking in my mind almost everyday. But that was then.

I may not be able to give them all the luxurious things in this world (and I will not even if I can. I don’t want my kids turned into little monsters!). But I can give them my whole self and sacrifice my own happiness. I love them whole heartedly. My day will not be complete without there sweet kisses and giggles. In short, my kids completed me.

So, is life really a test and a trial and error? Oh, well I better ask my officemate why he said that because to me life is just GREAT!

The Year 2007

It’s a common practice for us to make resolutions as the year comes to an end and a new one is approaching. I used to do this before but now I’m just grateful for whatever happened to me the previous year, be it good or bad.

There are so many things that happened in 2007 that I am so much thankful for. It’s been a year now since we left New Zealand and the adjustment process went well for all of us especially for the kids. We meet and made good friends here in Australia which makes a lot easier for us to cope with our new environment. My husband and I were blessed with good jobs and all of us remain fit and healthy for the whole year.

Surely, there were some bumpy days but we surpassed them somehow. These made our faith stronger and we learned more to trust God and allow Him to direct our lives. Most especially, we learned to be more patient and to wait for His perfect time

Change, Change, Change...

I just finished reading “Who Moved My Cheese?” by Dr. Spencer Johnson and it's a very interesting and inspiring book. My supervisor gave it to me as a Christmas present. At first I thought that it is one of those ‘work-related’ books which I am not too keen to read. But it wasn't.

“Who Moved My Cheese?” is about how people react to changes, whether changes at work place or in their personal lives. One can easily relate to the story’s main characters, the mice Sniff and Scurry and to the little people Haw and Hem.

Sniff and Scurry being mice that do not have emotions, can easily determine if something is changing and immediately do something about it. On the other hand, the two little people use their feelings to make decisions that make it harder for them to cope with changes. Hem who refuses change and hold on to what he believes in and Haw who finally gave in to change and moved on.

I have been through a lot of changes, be it in my personal life or in my career. I can see myself like the little people. There were times when I shut my mind to the idea of exploring other possibilities that might help me grow emotionally, socially and spiritually. Once I found my comfort zone, I just want to stay in there forever. I don’t care what other people say or do. Because of this kind of attitude I became aggravated and disgruntled most often.

The book changed my perception and attitude towards change. A perfect gift especially when we are going through some changes at work. As the cliché goes, ‘Change is the only constant thing in this world’.

The Crib

Christmas is one of my favorite seasons. The Christmas ornaments you can see in houses and malls, the carols they played on the radio, the crispness that you can feel in the air…these bring me joy and excitement. But what completes my happiness is the crib that the church displays as Christmas day draws near.

I had three Nativity set at home. I bought the first one when we went at Brickworks. It’s a second-hand one and there are missing characters such as the oxen, ram, donkey and the shepherd.

The second set (and my favorite one) came from a charity shop close to work. It has all the characters and the figures and crib were lovingly hand-made by less-fortunate children here in Adelaide. The third set is really not mine. This belongs to my kids. It’s a gift to them from our parish for joining their sacramental program.

I don’t know why, but every time I look at the crib I feel a sense of contentment and happiness. This serves as a reminder of how fortunate I am. Indeed life is not pleasant all the time. There are heaps of rough days but when I think of the nativity scene, of baby Jesus born in a manger, all my worries and fears were replaced with serenity and gratitude.

I may not have all the luxuries in this world but compared to Jesus I am very lucky to be born in a hospital, to sleep in a comfortable bed, to live and grow in a warm and nice house, to wear beautiful clothes and shoes. All of these things made me realized that I should learn to be satisfied and be thankful, to take each day one at a time and to treat trials as a way to strengthen my relationship with God.

Two Masters

It is never easy to balance family and work especially if you have children. There were months when I had a deadline to meet and then suddenly my children will begged me to attend their school assemblies or presentations. Of course, I can’t say no to them. But a half-day off from work has an impact to the project’s delivery date. That’s why I am forever grateful to my supervisor for being so supportive and understanding.

I love my family. Sometimes I wish that I can be a full-time wife and mother. I know I can do this whenever I want to but when I started thinking about the financial side it will be hard.

Now is so much different from before. My mother is a plain housewife. My father is the only breadwinner of our family. They’re able to support 4 children (I have 3 siblings). They’re able to provide us the basic necessities, some extras and sent us to private schools. But now, life will be very tough if you have three children and only one source of living. Hence, with a heavy heart I need to work to help my husband support our family.

I learned to be emotionally strong for the past nine years. I tried to convince myself that everything will be fine when we leave our kids to the caregiver. At work, I am trying so hard to focus my mind on what I am doing and try not to glance at the time. But at 5 in the afternoon I can’t wait to hopped in the bus and be with my family.

So who said you can’t serve two masters at the same time? I have been doing this for almost a decade and will still be doing this until we are financially better-off.

Fingerprints

My daughter gave me a card last year for Mother’s Day. It has her fingerprints and a lovely poem. I was so touched and cried when I read it (and felt guilty because I am so particular when it comes to cleanliness!).

I know you get discouraged
Because I am so small
And always leave my fingerprints
On furniture and walls
But everyday I am growing
I’ll be grown up some day
And all the smudges that I did
Will surely fade away
So here’s another bunch of them
Just so you can recall
Exactly how my fingers looked
When I was very small

I realized how time flies so fast and soon, my priceless possessions will not anymore be mine. Whether I like it or not, I have to set them free and let them find those things that can make them happy on their own. Of course, I will still be there when they need me.

That’s why, while they are still small and so dependent on me, I make sure to fully savor every second I spent with them.

Learning Tagalog

I keep on telling my kids to practise their Tagalog. Sa bahay tagalog na ang gamit namin kapag kinakausap namin sila (hirap kasi mag-translate ng salita sa English...hehehe). They can understand some Filipino words but can't really speak the language. Kapag nasa supermarket or mall kami, Tagalog din kung kausapin namin sila. Kapag nag-turo 'di nakakahiya sabihin na "huwag iyan kasi mahal".

Our eldest was born in the Philippines. I told him he should at least try to speak in Tagalog. He told me that if he will do that, he will then be called 'ano po iyon' boy. 'Yun lang daw kasi ang alam niyang sabihin 'ano po iyon'.

Our princess, the 2nd one, is at least trying her best to use Tagalog when speaking to us. Basic words alam na niya. She can count in Tagalog very well!

Recently, si bunso biglang nagpa-turo sa akin ng Tagalog. He keeps on asking me what is the Tagalog of cold, hot, warm, toothbrush and many other things. He is so cute! Tawag niya sa warm is 'gamgam'. 'Di kasi niya mabigkas ang maligamgam. Pero 'di pa rin niya masabi ang 'I Love You' sa Tagalog. Before, I told him "Mahal kita Cedric". I asked him if he knew what 'mahal' is in English. He proudly said "expensive"...hehehe...